Known (poem)

Now known
Knolls grassy enough
As green as on distant horizons
Unfolding forever my path

And my pace slows
Space flows and my races close
Knowing no undertows
Sweeping currents calling me onward

Suddenly seaward slews something serene
Caught corners of my eyes clearly resonate
Conflagrate great hate obliterate waste states
Calmly waving away weighed haste

Just around the corner always
All ways resulting the same
Unknown fate falling free
Known now running to me

Begin your stride as once you did
Steps stripping shoes from each foot
Gliding light across each new blade
Grass greener afoot than ever seen afar

Sparring foreseen circumvent
Vent now those lost dreams
For never too late
Will they seem

Stand in your field or run beyond
Pace traces outline your speed
Officiate officials officially offering
And time stands still for you

Know no known ever unknown
Untold hold folding upon you
Immense intense dense dents
Undone by what you always knew

Now

The Hustle (poem)

The hustle
The bustle
The rustle of feathers
Unfettered as I open my wings
Soaring far from the city noise

Still sitting here listening
Watching the lazy gazes as they stride by
None are where they seem as they walk in line
Quickly off the their happy heir

Hairs in the winds
Words a waste

Do not stand at my grave and weep

One of my close friend's from high school, Matt Potocki, lost his mother this past Sunday. Today was the funeral, and I drove down to Munster Indiana to support my friend and say goodbye to his lovely mother, Nancy. The mass was a mixture of happiness and sadness, but most of all it was hard for me to see my friend, his brother, and his father in such pain. They are not the type of men that show their emotions (at least the softer emotions), and so it was that much more poignant to see them in such sorrow. One of my teachers from high school (a priest) was performing the mass, and I recognized a number of teachers and other classmates at the ceremony. Nice to see so many people come out to support my friend's family. After the mass was done, my friend's dad, who is a notorious badass and the kind of man that you never see smile, let alone cry, said some words about his late wife. His raw emotions and pure love were too much for me to handle, and I lost it for a bit and cried. It felt good to cry. 

There was a poem on the back of the funeral mass pamphlet that I kept rereading, and so I've included it below. I'll write it here for you as well. I truly believe that death is not an ending, but a new beginning which occurs far from our earthly bodies, so this message really resonated with me. I pictured my good friend and his family standing around his mom's grave weeping...all while she is away and continuing on her journeys. It was comforting. It's stuck with me all day and so I wanted to write something here to remember her, my friend, his family, and the fact that our time on earth is very limited.

Make it count. 

Make time. 

Tell everyone you love that you love them. 

Show everyone that you love that you love them. 

Follow you heart. 

Listen to your gut. 

Love life. 

Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there; I do not sleep.

I am the diamond glints on the snow,

I am the sunlight on the ripened grain,

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft starts that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there; I did not die.

by Mary Frye

Never Enough Time

It really doesn't matter how long you have with your best friends and your family, it never feels like enough. I was back at Princeton this weekend to celebrate my 15-year college reunion, and wow was it a blast. Craziness for sure. Here are some fun pics, but mostly it was just laughing with my best friends and running around campus just like we used to do. Luckily I got to spend time with my mom and aunt in NYC as well, which brings such peace to my soul (pics below of that as well). Figured I had to write about this because it was such a special time for me. And I guess I hope this is a reminder to anyone who reads this: make time for your family and your closest friends. They bring you closer to your true self, and they always put you at ease.

My college roommates and best friends 

The P-rade at Princeton

Some random guy who made me laugh

Central Park, NYC

Lunch with my mom and aunt Jane - so much fun

Summer Smells (poem)

Summer Smells

5/10/15

Summer smells softly stretch silent songs

Memories from years ago awaken in my head

Telling tales written indelibly in lavender

Walks along the fences of neighborhood yards

Walls too high to see, though smells carry me in

And in I go with carefree contentment

Kid curiosity closing in on coolness

What seems to bring happiness has always done so

The soft scent of summer calms my soul

Those yards filled with flowering trees

Filling dreams of utopian seas

Laying in the grass under a glossy abelia

Looking up at the colors and shades

Inhaling the minutes as they drift by

Allowing time to curve and stall

Hands behind head while legs splay

Replay pay play as May fades away

Today like all others timeless and gay

No sooner lost in my days of now

Than when smells of summer my nose do catch

Releasing my fears and bringing me back home

And quickly I fall into the soft loving arms

Of the tall grass below those beautiful old trees

Thank you my friends of so many gentle ages

Views can distort but smells come so clear

Far as you are, in my heart you are near

Always Remember

Smile. Even the act of smiling when you're not happy will help your mood. I promise. Stay positive. Stay happy. Life is an amazing journey and we're all lucky to be on it at such a great time in history.

Heaven & Hell (poem)

Heaven & Hell

3/29/15

Heaven and Hell exist

They have a lifetime pact

Don’t look for them later

They’ve been here forever

Everything you’ve imagined

As both best and worst

Has evolved here

In our world

Waiting for judgment

Will only waste your days

Filled with passion for unknown fears

Forcing others to focus on your illusions

Instead realize your eyes hold the judgment

In front of you heaven and hell reside

And it’s only up to you to decide

Which to fear and which to love

But fear not - you can’t go wrong

In the end this is your world

Seen through only your eyes

And so you have the power

Wait Until Tomorrow (a poem)

Don't you dare wait until tomorrow
Lest you run the the biggest risk of all

Losing your one and only chance
Is worse than any lost attempt
And redemption never comes for those who never try
So let loose your wings and learn to fly

Speak from the heart and rest it on your sleeve
Leave nothing unsaid to those closest to you

Imagine your final days and who you want near
And then steer your ship close to them
Nestle up to those you hold dear
Losing all fear in the warmth of love

So wait not for tomorrow to make it the day
You might lose sight and continue to delay

Family first, though blood doesn't define
Mine includes friends, animals, and wine
Time is a dart you hold in your hand
Let go and aim at the best place for you

Run like you know you did once as a child
Forgetting the fears and feeling your wild

Plans are good but not if they trap
Always make room for an afternoon nap
Cap your days with a loving embrace
And run to your love with smiling haste

Tomorrow is not your friend though that's what he'll say
So make your amends, love, dreams, and happiness today

Grandma Ruth - 1914 - 2015

I just heard the news that my Grandma Ruth passed away last night, after living on this earth for 100 years and eight months. She had dementia in the last few years, so I truly believe she is in a better place now, but it's hard not to be a little sad. Ruth was my last living grandparent, so I guess her passing is a reminder that I am getting older as well. It's also a reminder that I need to cherish my family and especially my parents who are getting older. I even called my dad today just to tell him I love him. We don't really talk anymore but I just had to tell him that I love him. There isn't much more I want to write, but I just had to get it out in words that I loved my grandma very much, and I was and will always be proud that I'm related to her. She was a strong woman and a fiercely independent soul who loved to read and travel. I'll miss her always, and I'll love her always. I will see you again soon enough, grandma.

Hold The Storm (poem)

Hold the storm out in your hand
Dare to live without the bland
Hour glass seconds in the sand

Fate is a Funny Thing

Well it happened again. It's amazing how people and things from my past come back around in my life for some reason or another. I just moved to an amazing apartment / coach house in Chicago and am selling some of my things. One of these things is a printer which I do not need anymore, so I put an ad on Craigslist and got a few emails back showing interest. One of the people interested was a girl named Kristy, who negotiated with me but I agreed and so she just came to pick up the printer. I asked her where she is going to use the printer and she said it would be in her vintage clothing store not too far from my apartment. Nice. I love vintage clothes, so I asked her more about the store. She described the location and I realized that I not only know the store, but bought one of my favorite pairs of shorts from there! Ha. Classic. I told her about it and then ran up to my room and brought the shorts down to show her. Sure enough, she had found these shorts in a small store in Michigan and then brought them to her store in Chicago, where I luckily found them and bought them over a year ago. Unreal. We laughed. I told Kristy more about my art and music and my goal of opening a bar, and she said she may have some people for me to speak with. Exciting! Also, she asked me to send her some images of my art because she might be interested in selling them in her store. RAD. Anyway, I know I'm not really writing much anymore, but I had to share this story because I love when things like this happen. So much beauty in the world. Make sure to keep your eyes open!!! 

Oh - and Kristy's store is worth a plug. If you're in Chicago DEFINITELY go visit: Krispyfringe Vintage - http://www.yelp.com/biz/krispyfringe-vintage-chicago 

Fortitude (poem)

Forts forged with fortitude forever form freedom
To know that what you've done is real
To live what you know is your passion
To see that which has always been yours
To create reality out of your dreams
And to realize your place in the world

The most important element on earth is you
Rare in its form and compassion
Cut specifically for your wants and needs
Designed flawlessly for you to enjoy
And now you know its strength
Your weakness is now your growth

So take what you've learned
And show how you've turned
From ore to lore
From bore to adore
Through pain
Through time
Into you

Of You (poem)

Of You

1/18/15

It’s a slight pause

Something you don’t realize you’re doing

Watching yourself in a future time

In a new place

Grace you didn’t realize you attained

Unchained melodies driving your stride

Walking so peacefully and calmly

And then you come back to yourself

At the present time

With a new perspective to help drive your plan

You can do anything you set out towards

Forward’s the only route now

Without the tethered ropes you held before

Tore through them you did

Splendid sorrow sipping seconds slyly

Though without pain you wouldn’t be here

Realizing your full flame

Your uncontrollable flicker

Forever driving the warmth of reality

But always remember the you in the future

Will always check back in the rearview mirror

The conscience of unending reflection

And realization
Of You