Playa Blanca

Today was one of those amazingly annoying and then hilarious days. So when Oliver and Matt were here, they kept talking about this amazing beach called Playa Blanca, which is only accessible via a 45 minute boat ride. They spoke of white sand and turquoise waters, and drinks called Coco Loco's, which you drink directly out of a coconut. Sounds good, right? 

Christine is still here so she and I decided to give it a shot this morning, and we headed to the boat terminal around 7:30am. We had heard that boats leave around 8am so we wanted to get there early and make sure we were all setup. As we walk up to the terminal numerous people solicit us for drinks and street food, and then a few women come up to us about tickets on boats. We pass the first few but then a woman approaches much closer to the terminal and she has an ID, which she proudly shows us. ID = legit. Anyway, we sign up for two tickets to and from Playa Blanca, which cost $30 each and include lunch. Cool. So we write our names on their list and then get our receipt and she quickly passes us to another woman in the same uniform who takes us to the turnstile into the actual port itself. We try to go through and are quickly informed that we now need to buy an additional $3 ticket just to get into the port. Annoying, but it's Colombia so we roll with it and get into the port and are told to sit in a certain area with some others who are obviously signed up for our boat. We sit. We sit some more. We don't leave the terminal until about 9:45am, only after going through a full-on cattle call with multiple women from multiple boats yelling out names. Luckily I found the woman who was associated with our boat before she even got to our names, so I got to her before she butchered my name.

So we get on a boat that seats probably around 50 people…like sardines. Imagine a glorified skiff with a canvas rooftop and three dudes running it who look like they don't care about their job or any of us. So we finally push off and it's actually a nice ride (pic below). Our first stop is a neighborhood carved out of the trees about 15 minutes outside the city, where as we pull up there are 3-5 kids who jump in the water and swim up to the boat asking for money. Another crewmember jumps on the boat while about 10 other guys watch from the shore as if they want to steal everything we own and sink the boat. I don't blame them - we have and they don't - not easy to watch. So we take off from there and the head crewmember gives a speech about the landmarks and where we are going. My Spanish is OK to not-so-good, so I don't really understand much, and Christine knows zero Spanish, so we're quite the team. The next stop is a beach MOBBED with locals, and I ask the guy sitting next to me if this is Play Blanca and he says no, it's next. So we drop off a few people at this beach and move onwards. Again, little speech by head crewmember and then after another 20 minutes we pull into this cove where two smaller boats are docked and they are selling empanadas and fresh fish. Kinda cool, but Oliver and Matt never told us about this and it seems kinda strange. Where is Playa Blanca?? Anyway, we leave after about 20 minutes of people buying food and being wowed that they got it on a boat, and then finally we head to Playa Blanca. 

After another 20 minutes we pull up to this beautiful cove where there are a ton of other boats, but we don't immediately see the beach. Instead we see a big sign that reads Oceanario. Everyone gets off the boat at the dock and I ask the main crewmember if this is Playa Blanca, and he quickly says that Playa Blanca was the first stop we made. Huh? Seriously? The beach that was literally covered with locals and you could hardly see the beach or the water? Ouch. At this point I'm pretty disappointed in myself…but I'm even more disappointed in Oliver. C'mon dude. That was the beach you bragged about being amazing and beautiful and relaxing? Hahahah. So the best part is that this little stop we made is for people who want to check out the aquarium (Oceanario). Yes, as you can imagine it was the saddest little aquarium you've ever imagined or seen in your life. I'm guessing Tulsa, Oklahoma has a better one. So after about 45 minutes of swimming in this tiny cove we get back on the boat and head to Playa Blanca. 

And no, I'm not exaggerating when I say Playa Blanca was like going to the most packed beach on Memorial Day weekend in Chicago. A total zoo. Kids everywhere. Guys trying to sell anything from jewelry to jet ski rides. The only upside was that we got lunch with our $30 investment, which was local fish. First time I've eaten a fish while looking into it's eyes, but hey, it was actually good with some lime. So we walk up the beach and look for an empty spot, which is impossible, and we end up sitting in a tent where locals are cooking and hanging out. We sit and chill until our boat leaves at 3pm. Last note - when we are loading this boat, it literally pulls up onto the beach in between all these kids swimming in the water. Safe - not so much. Old men being lifted up and pushed onto our boat and people falling in the water cause they can't get up. This is when we just started laughing uncontrollably and admitting that not all was lost. 

So we got back and now I'm eating pizza at a place where they are playing Jack Johnson. The owners are the nicest people and they love that we're here, so hey - life is good. I know this was a long entry but I hope you enjoyed :)